IF THIS AIN’T POETRY [a poem about hair]

 

IF THIS AIN’T POETRY

 

if i don’t quite believe in myself, like myself / will i ever cut my hair? / it’s just this brown, elongated thing // i want it all off / burdens, salt, querida, past, what? // if i chop it off, all of it / tell me it’d change things / change me // just like the times before // pixie pixie pixie cut / punk rock star girl pinay in a liquor store // trying very hard in this world / you listening? // away at sea, on a metal city / can you hear me? i’m going to cut my hair // just like the times before

hey, girl, hey / pinay with the loose bangs / remember when your stepmother chopped it off? / four years old and already crying // remember remember remember / punk rock star girl pinay / you’re not like the others // too shy, too deceitful, too loud, too you / just remember: it’s just a brown, elongated thing // and ownership of things like that / it’s a trip // brown pinay rock star spunk girl / yeah, be a trip, i’m telling ya // five years in the future, looking back:

it ain’t easy chopping it off // all off // and going back // and being a trip // and remembering // and being // just being

 

 

 

 

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