This footage always damages me in a slow, pregnant way; it marks the infancy of my familia, it marks the moment when we were once together, before we broke apart. I decided to loop the video in hopes of producing a kind of fragmentary remembrance.
— “To My Unknown Daughter,” Center for Art & Thought’s #TalkingBodies Exhibit.
Sipin family filmed by my uncle in Mandaluyong, Manila, P.I. (1967).
“#1 Dub,” World Supreme Funky Fellows 2102: Mellow Beats, Friends & Lovers.
“To My Unknown Daughter: On the Inheritance of Writing,” Glimmer Train.
Here is an essay I wrote about the Pinay body: “To My Unknown Daughter,” which was published in Glimmer Train back in 2014. I thought reading this essay for CA+T’s “Talking Bodies” exhibit was appropriate but also star-aligning, because I wanted to do something more with it, something visual, something multimedia. I decided against using footage of me reading this essay, or any footage of me really, and instead used this vintage, archival footage of my family in Mandaluyong, Metro Manila, Philippines, in 1967, during the Marcos regime. There’s so much lovely irony in this archival, fragmented footage … My father’s in there with his older brothers; him the youngest, the most hungry. He’s about five years old, such a ripe and innocent age, a persona of my father I’ve never met or seen before, and he is seen riding a bike or longing for his eldest brother, the chosen patriarch of my family after my grandfather died. The men first seen in the beginning, in the first clip, are my two uncles—both of whom fled to the East Coast right around the time my grandfather passed, almost in defiance, in irrelevance to their eldest brother. All the kids dancing are my familia—my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my bloodline.
Let me go deeper, and tell you the backstory behind the footage: my white uncle, who filmed this footage, met one of my aunts near Clark Air Base (she was a sex worker), and they married; before he left for America (and subsequently took her, which allowed my whole family to immigrate), he would visit the family home in Manila and bring gifts, like this camera. In this essay, I talk a bit about how this complication, this nuance, this chance meeting between my white uncle and my aunt (who was prostituted) is a consequence of U.S. imperialism, and how all of this—this kind of colonial inheritance—affects the ways I write about the Pinay body. Although I wanted to film new material, these archival, old family videos made by my white uncle—who, ironically, is the only one archiving and recording our family histories, our family tree, and salvaging mementos from our past—obsessed me. This footage always damages me in a slow, pregnant way; it marks the infancy of my familia, it marks the moment when we were once together, before we broke apart. I decided to loop the video in hopes of producing a kind of fragmentary remembrance.